The 102 worst ways the government is spending your tax dollars:

102: Protecting a Michigan insect collection from other insects ($187,632)

101: Highway beautified by fish art in Washington ($10,000)

100: University studying hookup behavior of female college coeds in New York ($219,000)

99: Police department getting 92 blackberries for supervisors in Rhode Island ($95,000)

98: Upgrades to seldom-used river cruise boat in Oklahoma ($1.8 million)

97: Precast concrete toilet buildings for Mark Twain National Forest in Montana ($462,000)

96: University studying whether mice become disoriented when they consume alcohol in Florida ($8,408)

95: Foreign bus wheel polishers for California ($259,000)

94: Recovering crab pots lost at sea in Oregon ($700,000)

93: Developing a program to develop "machine-generated humor" in Illinois ($712,883)

92: Colorado museum where stimulus was signed (and already has $90 million in the bank) gets geothermal stimulus grant ($2.6 million)

91: Grant to the Maine Indian Basketmakers Alliance to support the traditional arts apprenticeship program, gathering and festival ($30,000)

90: Studying methamphetamines and the female rat sex drive in Maryland ($30,000)

89: Studying mating decisions of cactus bugs in Florida ($325,394)

88: Studying why deleting a gene can create sex reversal in people, but not in mice in Minnesota ($190,000)

87: College hires director for a project on genetic control of sensory hair cell membrane channels in zebrafish in California ($327,337)

86: New jumbo recycling bins with microchips embedded inside to track participation in Ohio ($500,000)

85: Oregon Federal Building's "green" renovation at nearly the price of a brand new building ($133 million)

84: Massachusetts middle school getting money to build a solar array on its roof ($150,000)

83: Road widening that could have been millions of dollars cheaper if Lousiana hadn't opted to replace a bridge that may not have needed replacing ($60 million)

82: Cleanup effort of a Washington nuclear waste site that already got $12 billion from the DOE ($1.9 billion)

81: Six woodlands water taxis getting a new home in Texas ($750,000)

80: Maryland group gets money to develop "real life" stories that underscore job and infrastructure-related research findings ($363,760)

79: Studying social networks like Facebook in North Carolina ($498,000)

78:18 North Carolina teacher coaches to heighten math and reading performance ($4.4 million)

77: Retrofitting light switches with motion sensors for one company in Arizona ($800,000)

76: Removing graffiti along 100 miles of flood-control ditches in California ($837,000)

75: Bicycle lanes, shared lane signs and bike racks in Pennsylvania ($105,000)

74: Privately-owned steakhouse rehabilitating its restaurant space in Missouri ($75,000)

73: National dinner cruise boat company in Illinois outfitting vessels with surveillance systems to protect against terrorists ($1 million)

72:  Producing and transporting peanuts and peanut butter in North Carolina ($900,000)

71: Refurnishing and delivering picnic tables in Iowa ($30,000)

70: Digital television converter box coupon program in D.C. ($650 million)

69: Elevating and relocating 3,000 feet of track for the Napa Valley Wine Train in California ($54 million)

68: Hosting events for Earth Day, the summer solstice etc. in Minnesota ($50,000)

67: Expanding ocean aquaculture in Hawaii ($99,960)

66: Raising railroad tracks 18 inches in Oregon because the residents of one small town were tired of taking a detour around them ($4.2 million)

65: Professors and employees of Iowa state universities voluntarily taking early retirement ($43 million)

64: Minnesota theatre named after Che Guevara putting on "socially conscious" puppet shows ($25,000)

63: Replacing a basketball court lighting system with a more energy efficient one in Arizona ($20,000)

62: Repainting and adding a security camera to one bridge in Oregon ($3.5 million)

61: Missouri bridge project that already was full-funded with state money ($8 million)

60: New hospital parking garage in New York that will employ less people ($19.5 million)

59: University in North Carolina studying why adults with ADHD smoke more ($400,000)

58: Low-income housing residents in one Minnesota city receiving free laptops, WiFi and iPod Touches to "educate" them in technology ($5 million)

57: University in California sending students to Africa to study why Africans vote they the way they do in their elections ($200,000)

56: Researching the impact of air pollution combined with a high-fat diet on obesity development in Ohio ($225,000)

55: Studying how male and female birds care for their offspring and how it compares to how humans care for their children in Oklahoma ($90,000)

54: University in Pennsylvania researching fossils in Argentina (over $1 million)

53: University in Tennessee studying how black holes form (over $1 million)

52: University in Oklahoma sending 3 researchers to Alaska to study grandparents and how they pass on knowledge to younger generations ($1.5 million)

51: Grant application from a Pennsylvania university for a researcher named in the Climate-gate scandal (Rep. Darrell Issa is calling on the president to freeze the grant) ($500,000)

50: Studying the impact of global warming on wildflowers in a Colorado ghost town ($500,000)

49: Bridge built over railroad crossing so 168 Nebraska town residents don't have to wait for the trains to pass ($7 million)

48: Renovating an old hotel into a visitors center in Kentucky ($300,000)

47: Removing overgrown weeds in a Rhode Island park ($250,000)

46: Renovating 5 seldom-used ports of entry on the U.S.-Canada border in Montana ($77 million)

45: Testing how to control private home appliances in Martha's Vineyard, Massachusetts from an off-site computer ($800,000)

44: Repainting a rarely-used bridge in North Carolina ($3.1 million)

43: Renovating a desolate Wisconsin bridge that averages 10 cars a day ($426,000)

42: 4 new buses for New Hampshire ($2 million)

41: Repaving a 1-mile stretch of Atlanta road that had parts of it already repaved in 2007 ($490,000)

40: Florida beauty school tuition ($2.3 million)

39: Extending a bike path to the Minnesota Twins stadium ($500,000)

38: Beautification of Los Angeles' Sunset Boulevard ($1.1 million)

37: Colorado Dragon Boat Festival ($10,000)

36: Developing the next generation of supersonic corporate jets in Maryland that could cost $80 million dollars each ($4.7 million)

35: New spring training facilities for the Arizona Diamondbacks and Colorado Rockies ($30 million)

34: Demolishing 35 old laboratories in New Mexico ($212 million)

33: Putting free WiFi, Internet kiosks and interactive history lessons in 2 Texas rest stops ($13.8 million)

32: Replacing a single boat motor on a government boat in D.C. ($10,500)

31: Developing the next generation of football gloves in Pennsylvania ($150,000)

30: Pedestrian bridge to nowhere in West Virginia ($80,000)

29: Replacing all signage on 5 miles of road in Rhode Island ($4,403,205)

28: Installing a geothermal energy system to heat the "incredible shrinking mall" in Tennessee ($5 million)

27: University in Minnesota studying how to get the homeless to stop smoking ($230,000)

26: Large woody habitat rehabilitation project in Wisconsin ($16,800)

25: Replacing escalators in the parking garage of one D.C. metro station ($4.3 million)

24: Building an airstrip in a community most Alaskans have never even heard of ($14,707,949)

23: Bike and pedestrian paths connecting Camden, N.J. to Philadelphia, Penn. when there's already a bridge that connects them ($23 million)

22: Sending 10 university undergrads each year from North Carolina to Costa Rica to study the rainforests ($564,000)

21: Road signs touting stimulus funds at work in Ohio ($1 million)

20: Researching how paying attention improves performance of difficult tasks in Connecticut ($850,000)

19: Kentucky Transportation Department awarding contracts to companies associated with a road contractor accused of bribing the previous state transportation secretary ($24 million)

18: Amtrak losing $32 per passenger nationally but rewarded with windfall ($1.3 billion)

17: Widening an Arizona interstate even though the company that won the contract has a history of tax fraud and pollution ($21.8 million)

16: Replace existing dumbwaiters in New York ($351,807)

15: Deer underpass in Wyoming ($1,239,693)

14: Arizona universities examining the division of labor in ant colonies (combined $950,000)

13: Fire station without firefighters in Nevada ($2 million)

12: "Clown" theatrical production in Pennsylvania ($25,000)

11: Maryland town gets money but doesn't know what to do with it ($25,000)

10: Investing in nation-wide wind power (but majority of money has gone to foreign companies) ($2 billion)

9: Resurfacing a tennis court in Montana ($50,000)

8: University in Indiana studying why young men do not like to wear condoms ($221,355)

7: Funds for Massachusetts roadway construction to companies that have defrauded taxpayers, polluted the environment and have paid tens of thousands of dollars in fines for violating workplace safety laws (millions)

6: Sending 11 students and 4 teachers from an Arkansas university to the U.N. climate change convention in Copenhagen, using almost 54,000 lbs of carbon dioxide from air travel alone ($50,000)

5: Storytelling festival in Utah ($15,000)

4: Door mats to the Department of the Army in Texas ($14,675)

3: University in New York researching young adults who drink malt liquor and smoke pot ($389,357)

2: Solar panels for climbing gym in Colorado ($157,800)

1: Grant for one Massachusetts university for "robobees" (miniature flying robot bees) ($2 million)

GRAND TOTAL: $4,891,645,229